People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway. People really need help but may attack if you help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
Lately I've had this feeling building up inside me, like there's something big on the horizon. I feel like I'm at a real crossroads in my life, a turning point. Something in me is changing drastically, and it feels amazing. I've had an incredibly low self esteem all my life, I've never thought myself to be good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough. I've never believed that I am talented or good at anything. But that's been changing. I've had friends asking me why I can't see the good things in myself, why I allow myself to believe that I am so insignificant. The fact is some of the people closest to me and some of the people I've opened myself up to most have called me worthless, lazy and stupid among other things. They've called in to question my best intentions and made me truly feel like I'm just an awful person.
But I know how far I've come with God. I know that I am on the right path and doing the right thing and that my intentions are nothing but the best. I can recognize now that I am a child of God and that by default makes me beautiful. It makes me wonderful, and talented. There is no reason for me to feel ashamed of that. I've given all credit to God, where it belongs, not to myself. I know that it isn't me who's gotten this far, God has done many works in my life to bring me here. He has put many trials and tribulations in my life to teach me and to help me grow.
As a human being I will never be totally selfless, but I'm happy to say that I'm a lot less selfish than I used to be. I can say that I really do put others before myself at all times, even if they're just kicking me when I'm down.
I've beat myself up for past mistakes and past sins on a daily basis for years, I've allowed people to hold my past mistakes over my head instead of just remembering that I've become a better person. I was talking to my Dad about this the other day, and I was defending the people who are hurting me because I feel like I deserve it after all I've done. But then he said something to me that really woke me up. He said "Ashley, God has forgiven you for those things, right?" And of course I said yes. He continued "Are you better than God, then?" I asked what he meant and he said "If God is willing to forgive you, to 'cast your sins as far as the east is from the west', if He is willing to throw them away and remember them no more, then who are you not to forgive yourself? You must think you're better than Him." Obviously I answered with "Of course not!!" and so he told me to let it go. Let go of what I've done, it's not between me and the people I've hurt anymore, but between me and God, and He's already forgiven me.
And I realized today that I've been fighting for all the wrong reasons. I've been fighting so hard to right all my wrongs with people, when I don't even have to. My Dad told me today that everyone makes bad decisions, but for some reason I just want to hold onto mine and try to fix everything, but that's not my job. I am forgiven and that is the most important thing. All I can do from here on out is love as God tells me to, help people and pray for people as He tells me to, and just live my life the best way that I can, the way that He intended.
I should love myself. Not in a conceited way, but because that's what He wants. If I don't love myself how can I love anyone else? And as a creation of God, if I don't love myself am I not questioning Him and His work? I refuse to do that any longer. I am a wonderful, beautiful, talented person. And no one will convince me otherwise from this point forward because I hold God's opinion above anyone else's. I'm going to start fighting for all the right reasons.
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