Scents and Memories

I lay my head on my pillow
Searching for a moment of respite
But instead I find your scent
and I can feel my heart fracture.

I breathe it in
a sharp painful breath
stabbing in my lungs like a thousand tiny swords
and I cry.

For you, for me.
I cry for us.
For what we stand for today,
for what we stood for yesterday.

I cry for memories lost
for the ones that remain.
I mourn for happiness
and for feelings I will never feel again.

I linger here a moment more
to imagine life without you
and imagine what our life would be
had we lasted and not faltered.

Oh, the pain and the sorrow
the wrenching emptiness I feel
to envision possibilities of happiness
if only I'd remained alone.