My best friend recently introduced me to a book called "Perfect Daughters." It's a book about children, specifically daughters, of alcoholic parents and what effects it has on you as a person. It explores everything from your self esteem to parenting style. And it's been a real eye opener for me on so many levels. I don't believe in blaming people, and I certainly don't blame my parents, but depending on what point in your life you were introduced to your parents' alcoholism, it really effects certain aspects of your personality and who you become. Of course once you realize this the power to change is in your hands. It's really good to know why I act a certain way, why I lack self esteem, why I used to be so shy, why it is so hard for me to trust and why I am in the relationship I'm currently in.
Anyway, enough about that, I'm sure I'll post more about it later. The point is I've actually ordered some more books that "Perfect Daughters" mentions and uses quotes from. One of them is called "Women Who Love Too Much." It's a book about women who are addicted to relationships, or more specifically certain people. Which is yet another effect of being raised by alcoholic parents, being drawn to emotionally and spiritually unavailable men and people. I also ordered the daily meditation version of this book, I haven't started reading the actual book but I thought it important to catch up to today's current date in the daily meditation version. These are a few that stood out for me:
February 7:
When you stop taking care of him and take care of yourself instead, the man in your life may become very angry and accuse you of not caring about him anymore. This anger generates from his panic at having to become responsible for his own life. As long as he can fight with you, make you promises, or try to win you back, his struggle is outside, with you, and not inside with himself. Give him back his life, and take back your own.
(Even in just the feeble attempts I've made at healing for myself, I've already experienced this one.)
February 11:
When a woman who loves too much gives up her crusade to change the man in her life, he is then left to ponder the consequences of his own behavior. Since she is no longer frustrated and unhappy, but rather is becoming more and more excited about life, the contrast to his own troubled existence intensifies. No matter what he then chooses to do, by accepting the man in her life exactly as he is, a woman becomes free, one way or another, to live her own life --- happily ever after.
February 12:
Forgiving doesn't mean allowing ourselves to be hurt again; it means, among other things, detaching so that we don't take another's actions toward us so personally.
Far from making us weak people who can be stepped on by others, forgiveness frees us so that we never have to allow ourselves to be treated badly again.
March 16:
Very few of us who love too much have a conviction, at the core of our being, that we deserve to love and be loved simply because we exist. We believe instead that we harbor terrible faults or flaws and that we must do good works in order to make up for this. We live with guilt that we have these shortcomings and in terror of being found out. We work very, very hard at trying to appear to be good because we don't believe we are.
I will likely add more as I find ones that I feel pertain to me and my life and those in my life.
Anyway, enough about that, I'm sure I'll post more about it later. The point is I've actually ordered some more books that "Perfect Daughters" mentions and uses quotes from. One of them is called "Women Who Love Too Much." It's a book about women who are addicted to relationships, or more specifically certain people. Which is yet another effect of being raised by alcoholic parents, being drawn to emotionally and spiritually unavailable men and people. I also ordered the daily meditation version of this book, I haven't started reading the actual book but I thought it important to catch up to today's current date in the daily meditation version. These are a few that stood out for me:
February 7:
When you stop taking care of him and take care of yourself instead, the man in your life may become very angry and accuse you of not caring about him anymore. This anger generates from his panic at having to become responsible for his own life. As long as he can fight with you, make you promises, or try to win you back, his struggle is outside, with you, and not inside with himself. Give him back his life, and take back your own.
(Even in just the feeble attempts I've made at healing for myself, I've already experienced this one.)
February 11:
When a woman who loves too much gives up her crusade to change the man in her life, he is then left to ponder the consequences of his own behavior. Since she is no longer frustrated and unhappy, but rather is becoming more and more excited about life, the contrast to his own troubled existence intensifies. No matter what he then chooses to do, by accepting the man in her life exactly as he is, a woman becomes free, one way or another, to live her own life --- happily ever after.
February 12:
Forgiving doesn't mean allowing ourselves to be hurt again; it means, among other things, detaching so that we don't take another's actions toward us so personally.
Far from making us weak people who can be stepped on by others, forgiveness frees us so that we never have to allow ourselves to be treated badly again.
March 16:
Very few of us who love too much have a conviction, at the core of our being, that we deserve to love and be loved simply because we exist. We believe instead that we harbor terrible faults or flaws and that we must do good works in order to make up for this. We live with guilt that we have these shortcomings and in terror of being found out. We work very, very hard at trying to appear to be good because we don't believe we are.
I will likely add more as I find ones that I feel pertain to me and my life and those in my life.
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